我的祷告 27th Nov 2010

哦主　求祢保守我的心　我的意念
使我能夠遵行祢旨意
我願將祢話語　深藏在我心
作路上的光　成為我腳前的燈

哦主　求祢堅固我信心　我的力量
使我得以勇敢向前行
因我知道有時我仍會軟弱
求祢帶領我　使我不會再退縮

我需要有祢在我生命中
好讓我一生　能學祢的樣式
使我能成為　祢所喜悅的兒女
使我的生命　能夠彰顯祢榮耀

happy :)

I was so happy to hear that my primary x-classmates will be organizing a reunion :) This is so awesome because I didn't meet some of them for nearly 8 years already. Aren't this is long? Haha..

And I received something from someone very very special, something reassure me to keep on doing what I am doing now and I felt that I have been appreciated. Thank u, you!

Today, from the sermon, I learned that while reading about the figure in the old testament, we must always pause and reflect ourselves,so far what have we done and is it right thing to do it? Shud I change and improve..

Many thanks to God who is watching over me all the times ;) I am blessed with the angels surrounding me ..

Pause and reflect...

Life had been good recently. Of course, as usual, many things happened and I was grateful that I was be able to go through it all, just that I need a little bit calmness. I was amazed by Hasvini and Alia 's calmness when they meet some harsh situations :) I need to improve in that.

Wow! To my surprise, last week, Mira made me a sandwich for my breakfast. Thank you very much. Although the food had been digested for days ago, but then, I still remember that she did me the breakfast. ^^ Happy~

Academically, results are improving, but I was spiritually empty now. I do not know why?!! Just feel like my relationship with God is becoming further and further. I admit that nowadays, I joined more activities. Zedah is asking me to rest and slow down my pace. If you ask me now, did you read bible? I was ashamed to answer you. I need a change now...

Many people may not know what I am doing, but then I am clear with what I want and what I can contribute to my religion in future. Yes, tomorrow the CCF is organizing an activity, treasure hunt. The objective is to enhance the relationship among the brotherhood and sisterhood. Lilian asked me, what talk are you going to tomorrow? Erm... deep in my heart I do like to join the treasure hunt since my spiritual support is in detrimental situation but I choose to go to the TEDxYouth @KL talks. In my mind, there is always something else. Seriously, I will not do something without a purpose or just for fun. For example like, event management, learning from Waqiyuddin, 5th year MBBS senior. It would be really great if we can implement that event management at the local church in my hometown. It would save many time and works will become more organize and efficient. I wish one day I could change the SYSTEM... maybe not to the best, at least better than previous one.. Hope what I do did find the favour in God..

Learn from mistake, which is to hold my tongue :)

Today is as usual... those like that is still like that, those who try to ignore me is still ignoring me. Sometimes I will ask, what is the meaning of friend if you act in that way?? Whatever it is, I had learn my lesson today. Those who can hold his or her tongue is the best. Be patience, surely I can go through all this craps. Coz nothing is meaningful except storing our gold in heaven. I shall stand firm by His grace, a little obstacles make me grow more mature, a little sadness or disappointment teach me not to rely on this worldly things. And I am so thankful to God for his gift to me, Alia. I did shared many things to her, about the views, people's attitude and many more ... a very wide scope. But then I seldom shared my problems with her, because this act may be similar to "talking bad things" about other people. Even if I shared, I didn't mention the name and she wouldn't guess who am I talking about. In fact she will always be there, comforting and motivating. I feel easy with her. Seriously, no doubts and worries at all. And now I am trying to be like her, not her choleric leadership, but her calmness in controlling herself includes emotions in the midst of "many works". =) All the best evelyn :) All critics on me is most welcome because that is what I need =D I enjoyed that. Zedah just gave me one, "Evie, pls can you dun pls everyone?" Thank you Zedah! And thanks Aqi for listening today!!

“神在带领你，要相信！”

我一直跟我妈妈说那是奇迹，妈妈一直跟我说“神在带领你，要相信！”
上帝的数学是很特别的。。。大学的打分是25 + 25 = 50（及格）.可是，我所experienced 和还会在experience 的是25 + 25 + 恩典 = 满足！
感谢主！Do you understand? haha :) 加油！三个星期的周末都排得满满的了，为了继续向前走，不然没事做的周末又想家了！哈哈

Praying For Pastors

Thanks God for the pastor. I found this in the internet. Pls have a few minutes for this.. thank you.

Ps 31:23..........Father, I thank You that our pastors are faithful,
Ps 31:23..........and that You preserve them.
Prov 28:20........That they abound with blessings,
Gal 6:9.............and do not grow weary in well doing.
Phil 1:6.............That You who began a good work in them will perfect it.
Eph 2:10...........They are Your workmanship created in Christ Jesus,
Heb 13:21.........and equipped in every good thing to do Your will.
Heb 13:21..........Work in them that which is well-pleasing in Your sight.
2Cor 9:8............Let all grace abound toward them, having sufficiency in all things,
2Cor 9:8...........and an abundance for every good work.
2Cor 9:6...........Because they have sowed bountifully, they will reap bountifully,
1Cor 3:6...........and whether they plant or water, Father, You give the increase.
2Cor 2:14..........I pray that they continually triumph in Christ,
2Cor 2:14..........diffusing the fragrance of His knowledge in every place.
Deut 28:2..........That all blessings come upon them and overtake them,
Deut 28:2..........because they obey the voice of their God.
Ps 32:8.............Instruct them and teach them in the way they should go;
1Cor 2:10..........reveal the deeper things of God to them by Your Spirit.
2Tim 2:21..........Let them be vessels of honor, sanctified and useful for the Master,
2Tim 2:21..........prepared for every good work.
1Pet 5:2...........Shepherding the flock willingly, eagerly, and being an example to them.
1Cor 2:4...........Their speech and preaching is in demonstration of the Spirit and power.
2Tim 4:2...........And they are instant in season and out of season to preach the Word.
Josh 1:3............Every place the soles of their feet tread upon has been given to them.
Deut 31:6..........They are strong and of good courage for You, Lord, go with them.
Ps 27:14...........They wait on You, and You strengthen them in their heart.
Titus 1:5............Help them set in order things that are lacking,
Titus 1:5............and appoint elders in every city.
2Cor 10:4...........I tear down the strongholds over the pulpit.
Ex 17:11............I lift up our pastors and cover them
Heb 12:24..........with the blood of Jesus.
Deut 28.............Sickness and disease shall in no way come near them,
Gal 3:13............for they are redeemed from the curse of the law.
Isa 54:17...........I say that no weapon formed against them will prosper,
Isa 54:17...........and every tongue rising against them shall be shown to be in the wrong.
Cor 12:11..........Father, let the gifts and anointings on their lives come forth.
Luke 1:45..........Birth the things that You have spoken to them in their hearts,
Acts 6:4............as they continually give themselves to prayer
Acts 6:4............and the ministry of the Word.

学习放下 （SPM 成绩）

我应该放的下了吧！

记得2008三月二十多号，是my disaster day。。 哈哈
SPM 只靠7A 很不高兴，因为我target我自己会拿到9A 的。。。早上接到消息时打发脾气，不停的埋怨上帝不听祷告。。。那天刚好是星期四，妈妈叫我去晚祷会，我不要，可是我妈妈硬把我带去。当时晚祷会是在卫国礼堂。妈妈坐前面，而我就自己坐在后面。

晚祷会一开始，怡伶传道就带领感恩祷告。我偏不要祷告，真的很想从礼堂走出去。我不停的责问上帝，为什么不给我考好点，难道你不听祷告吗？我还问上帝，你要我怎么感恩？？？我也哭了。。。

放弃去法国读书当老师的我，听妈妈的话，拿了医科去西马读书。当时，我也一直的寻找神！到底祂在为我怎么样的安排？慢慢的知道了我以前是挂名的基督徒，原来我做了18年挂名的基督徒啊！5年在槟城都不去教堂，读经也是乱乱来的，还责怪神不听祷告。。。haiz~

可是还是感谢主，七月五号，因着信，看到了神的奇迹和大能。。。感谢神为我预备的天使，毛传道。。。飞机降下，道别毛传道后，一到宿舍，跟妈妈通了电话后，就马上跪下，接受耶稣基督为我就主。。。我投降了。。。我们的神太awesome了，只要我信。。。

可是，放假会sibu时，有一次，在晚祷会还没结束时， 美英牧师叫所有的考试生站前来，要为他们祷告！哇！我的心很痛，还在问神，为什么要为考试生祷告呢？当时，我发现，我还是放不下我的成绩！我又哭了！

这么久以来，我很常都向神求，让我能够放的下与接受自己的成绩！

今晚，开河牧师也同样的为考试生祷告，奇怪，我为他们祷告了！在也不生气或为自己以前的成绩感到伤心 :)

还好我跌倒过，而且还是很痛的那种。可是，今天回想一下，还好我跌了。。。因为那时，Form 5 的我，在学校又是法文社团的主席，又是学长（权力），觉得自己高高在上，人难免有骄傲的时候！我的自信也一起跌了！可是还好，至少现在你们再也看不到骄傲的我了:D 我是属于比较不爱讲话的人，可是，认识我的人会说我很疯癫！^^

高兴，因为我放下了。。谢谢，天上的父！

现在的我，不怎么看重成绩。。。Life is too short to worry about grades :)

Everyone needs a MaP

Every one needs a map, a map which can show us the way, the truth and the direction to the eternal life. My map is "the BIBLE", the Word of God. Then, what's yours?

耶稣爱我，我知道 Jesus Loves Me This I know

Only the resolution of the video is poor, due to my lousy yet usable nokia 6120c. But then please enjoy this nice song with marvellous lyrics by Rev. Tie Teck Siing together with his excellent voices.. This is awesome. All the glory to God the Al-Mighty.

My reflection 1: Balance in my life, what is worship?

Balance :)

I should have the enthusiasm in medicine, as how I was so enthusiast in learning God's words. After this, not only seek for pastor, instead doctor as well. After all, I learn medicine to achieve my dream. Hope what I dream for do find favor in Him.   :D

Now I was having one week holidays in Sibu, and last night I decided to do something this time. I am going to have five days reflection on myself :)

1.11.2010: Today basically I would like to reflect on myself in the aspect of my intellectual and spiritual life. Always, if I came across some confusion in my Christian understanding, I will immediately e-mail or message a pastor to ask for that. If not, I will feel so uneasy. I have the enthusiasm to know more on my own religion.

But then, in Cyberjaya, I always do something unnecessary at the wrong timing, especially when the exam is getting nearer. Instead of studying the medical textbook which I spent a lot of money to buy them, I will read the systemic theology book. It was because when the exam is getting nearer, I started to become nervous and stumble and the only way to run away from all those shaking feelings is to read the religion books. Aren't my study is important as well? Life is also a worship!

Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. (Rom 12:1)

 
What is worship? Yes, worship is when you sing hymns in the church. Not only that, the direct translation from the Greeks actually means "serve", "service", "minister" or in other words "service and sacrifice" directed towards God. Therefore, worship is actually when we serve God, which means that the attitude and our testimonies are a part of worship. In short, worship is obeying the God's words, libe for Him. Just like Jesus, not only worship and glorify God's name in church, instead when he was crucified. Hence, we can worship God everyday; for God's sake, we STUDY HARD, for God's sake, we HELP our friends in need, for God's sake, we spend our money wisely, for God's sake, we must be honest in everything and so on!

Reflection:
1. I must have the enthusiasm to learn medicine like how I was so enthusiast in learning the God's words. I must realize that, I should have done well and try my best in my exam to glorify God's name, not for myself. If I do not score well in the exam, means that I do not have the knowledge! Then, how can I help the sick? People around me always tempted me with the saying, "we learn for the knowledge, not for the exam." Of course I don't care how much grade do I get but what I matter most is when I do not have the knowledge. Sincerely, I was really really really feel sad and want to give up whenever I can't answer the questions especially the SAQ in the final exam because at that moment, I realized that I don't have the knowledge for that particular "cases/problem-solving questions". So, after this, whenever I came across some mystery medical cases or if I was unsured on anything related to the medicine, I must try my best to seek help from others, more preferably from doctors as now we do have something called Internet, communication without boundaries. Yeah, medicine is fun and just to remind myself, please be more serious with what I am learning!
碧志告诉我，我们基督徒要“量恩而做”~。。。不是靠自己，而是靠主恩。。。

What is worship? Translation in chinese: (source, from Rev. Paul Ting)
敬拜到底是什么？敬拜是在教会里唱诗赞美上帝，但不只是如此。敬拜原文的字根跟服事是一样的。所以，敬拜也有服事的意思，也就是说行为，见证和服事也是敬 拜的一部分。就连将来在天上敬拜时，除了唱诗赞美，还有服事！简单来说，敬拜就是遵行上帝的旨意，为祂而活。就好像耶稣那样，祂敬拜和荣耀上帝的地方不只 是会堂，也在任何地方，甚至在十字架上。因此，我们每一天所作所为都是在敬拜，只要我们是为上帝而作。为上帝把书读好是敬拜；为上帝帮助一个朋友是敬拜； 为上帝好好花钱是敬拜；为上帝而诚实是敬拜等等！