A realistic world! Life like that~

My e-mail to him:

Pastor Chai,

Tq 4 your explaination on Melchizedek in previous e-mail.

Since 2 weeks ago, I am not happy. I really felt like I want to go to a planet where there are no people there. I dun like people here, in my campus. For example, a study’s notes which students should not have but my friend still download it and read the notes. It is very clearly stated that student shud not have the notes, only instructor allowed. I want to read the notes also, but that is wrong, that’s why I didn’t read.And when I sacrifice myself to accompany friend in need, another friend said I left her.I am not happy. Furthermore, she even misunderstood me. For example, I have 2 friends, when I tried to please my friend A, friend B will get jealous and said I left her out. I felt like I dun like this place. When I do wat is right, they will misunderstand me..I will not explain to my friends because I dun want any of our relationship to get worse. I always keep things myself.I have been not happy for 2 weeks already. I really give up already, really dun know wat to do…Some night I will just cry. Wat shud I do? Actually there are still some issues which I do not prefer to post it out in public... How to become happy?

Evelyn利翩

Reply :

利翩，你好，

看了你的来信，真的感觉到你身处在一个艰难的处境中，不同的民族的人生活在一起已经不容易了，再加上不同信仰，实在需要更多的忍耐。然而，这么多年来你都这样走过，相信你的胸襟比一般一直被同族、同信仰包围的人来得更加宽阔。你向神发的问题是对的（为什么把我放在非基督徒的圈子中），但我希望你是真心想从神得到答案的，而不是对神的一种责问。我常对基督徒说，不要以为所谓好的基督徒就是那些懂得参加教会聚会、读经、祷告、唱诗的人，甚至不一定是那些圣经考试一百分的人，真正要评价一个基督徒好不好，是要看他怎么样在这个信仰、价值观、人生观、道德观与他完全不同的环境中生活，就好象我们要测试一盏灯好不好，就必须把它放在黑暗的地方一样。

人与人的相处，有许多功课必须学习，我甚至可以说，人每一天的喜怒哀乐都是与人际有关。我们大部分的怒气都是人际引起的，可是想一想，我们记忆中最美丽的部分，岂不也是和别人一同快乐的日子吗？在人际产生矛盾的时候，我们总是很想逃避，但要是我们真的独居了，相信可能没过两天我们又想念朋友了。人际之所以如此叫人又爱又恨，是因为我们都是罪人，我们都不完全，都有软弱；我们对别人不满，别人也对我们不满；我们用自己的标准去套在人身上，人也用他的标准套在我们身上。每一个人的背景、养成、思想、习惯、说话方式都不同，而每个人都以自己的标准去衡量别人，其中所牵涉的互动关系是错综复杂的。基督徒要学会的重要功课之一，就是不要对人间存着太理想化的期待。当然，在一些违反圣经道德要求的事上我们不能妥协，甚至要去劝勉犯罪的人，但按照我的观察和经验，真正遇到这些道德问题的人不多，人际之间的矛盾大多数是与道德无关的事引起的。在这些很现实的环境中，我们一方面要顾及自己的基督徒见证，另一方面也需要学习欣赏和接纳和我们不同的人。人不只是要懂得在和谐中成长，也当懂得如何在别人的误解中成长。真正的信仰并不是与世隔绝去过隐居的生活，它必须在有血有肉的挣扎中才能绽放光彩。

你的来信中也提到一些关乎对错的道德问题，就是你的同学阅读一些不该阅读的资料。在别人做得不正确的时候，你应当劝勉（我相信你已经劝勉），但你终究无法控制别人，即使这样，你仍必须坚守自己做正确的事。当然，这结果可能影响考试的成绩，到最后选择做正确之事的正直人可能考得没有违规者好，这真叫人愤恨。但不要忘记，我们至终是要得神喜悦，再者，学习最重要的是自己从中学到什么，而不是成绩。用不正确的方法考得好成绩而自己不是真正从中学到功课，本质上并没有多大价值，还有，有了成就而败坏了品格，那更是不值得。除了信仰之外，品格永远是首要的！

以下圣经的话，愿与你共勉：
"Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of those who do wrong; for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away. Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD ; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. " (Psalm37:1~6)

"Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. "(Rom12:17~21)

Andrew Chai

Evie: I posted this hoping that this can help u too! Friends, about the notes tingy I m x pointing to anyone, just a struggle for me during that time coz I dun know wat to do...But I ve found the solution now...Thx to Pr. Chai. Juz take d advices from the replied e-mail! I feel better after I read the replied e-mail. Luckily I went to class this morning. What Pr. Chai said was right, only do the things that is right in front of God. There is no use if the result was booming but the basic moral values was rotten. Haha...furthermore, the Physic quiz have been postponed to 5 p.m.!
And 1 more things, d topic for intro to medicine and pharmacy was damn interesting. Mira, Chai Peng and I didn't have a second to glance at our physic's notes. I was very interested in nuclear pharmacy! Challenging!