Saturday, April 24, 2010

2nd week and 3rd week of musculoskeletal system

I was very very tired? But still hope to write something here.. Last week, because of some worries, I really did badly in my 2nd weekly assessment. My marks was like going down around 20 marks. So sad. So, this week, I will still consider it stormy week, but I had decided earlier that whatever it comes, I will focus in my studies. I need to get some satisfying results for my parents and grandparents esp. my grandma to make them happy, although my mum always told me that as long as I passed, she will be happy already. I still remember on Thursday noght, she asked me not to tense myself by telling me a story about a dental student in S'gpore committed suicide recently. Haha, that will never happens in me.. =)

Why I described last 2 weeks as stormy days for me? Because, ya..for the first week I was really worried that I might have to stay in Putrajaya for my 2nd year in CUCMS. I was thinking about, how about my transport to church, my fellowship? my morning prayer meeting? So so many to be worried because I had forgotten that My Lord is al-mighty and He is greater than all those little problems!

The 2nd week of musculoskeletal system? Things started very good. I promised a friend of mine, Alia to go to their toastmaster meeting as a guest. But sadly, d moment I went into Farahain's car (which driven by Aqi), something unexpected things came up, which made me very very sad. Seeing my condition, Aqi decided that we will not go for the toastmaster meeting, instead to Hassan to have our dinner. Came back home, my feelings got even worse but I will not mention what happened actually at that night. I don't even want to remember it!!!!!! Really sad and shocked! How come things become like that? Isn't she is my best friend who I thought understand me very well? That night also, I immediately erase the terms "best friend" in my heart, in my dictionary as well. Only on the 2nd day, I thought of what did Alia feel because Aqi and I fail to keep our promise. Of course I dun know what is in her mind but one thing I do know is, "If I was her, I will be very disappointed" Haiz~ sorry.. I hope I will not repeat that next time =(

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Keep going!!! Come on!

I was just about to give up! Because there are so many works to be done everyday. Just because I felt asleep at 10.30p.m. last night, I have to wake up at 5a.m. to do my homework. I reflected back...Is that what I want? Facing the book everyday, with so many nerves, muscles, bone, blood vessels and etc. I need to memorized every week?

I opened my facebook, saw a video. It is a short movie from the movie "Facing the Giant!" Basically inside there showed how the coach motivate and encourage a guy named Brooke for not to give up. In the process, the coach had shouted :-
17 times "Yes, this is the way!"
15 times "Come on / 加油!"
23 times "Dun give up!"
9 times "Try your best!"
48 times "keep going!"

Brooke said : It's pain
The coach replied : Dun give up, try ur best!
Brooke said : He is heavy
The coach replied : I know!
Brooke said : I have no more energy.
The coach replied : Search more enegy
Brooke said : It's pain
The coach said : Yes I know, keep going!
Brooke said : My hand is burning
The coach said : Let it burns!
Brooke said : It's too hard
The coach replied : It's not too hard, try ur best, come on!

Been so emotionless!!

I don't know where did all my feelings gone? A breast cancer patient who only has most probably 8 months left standing giving a speech in front of me. Some of my friends cried, but for's just "owh, ok." So simple! I wonder why I acted this way. Did I feel pity for her? Did I feel sad for her? Oh beb! Undergo Chemo is damn pain ok! But, how come I feel so calm about that matter? I thought if she was my patient and I acted in that way, she could have already give a punch on my emotionless... Btw, how to be emotion ya???

And yesterday after I came out from the exam hall, I got a message from Olivia that our friend, Lilian Hii had been admitted into the hospital. She is now isolated because she had been attacked by A influenza, confirmed H1N1. But then, what do I feel? Maybe a little bit sad because actually this week many things happened to me and I really looking forward for Saturday morning prayer meeting to share my stories with her and would like to seek some of her advice. Then, I don't know what to feel anymore? At the same time, I did SMS her asking a lot of silly questions also, and d most weird one sound like this, "how do u feel?" Why did I sent her that kind of message? Because I don't feel anything and hope that by knowing how she feel could let me develop my feelings towards the patient in future. Now, I was quite worry about my "emotionless!" Can feel quite a lost when she is not around in Cyber here, no Saturday morning prayer meeting means there is no sharing. Hm... People will never appreciate until they lost it :)