Those who hold their tongue are WISE!

People will easily blurt out rude words when they are angry or mad at something. I am not saying that all of us, but at least there are some of us who act like that. Now in the era of modernization, we have Facebook, twitter, myspace and with the aid of iPhone and iPad plus WiFi is available everywhere, it is so easily for us to post anything on the Internet (so called world without borders). It's just on our fingertips!

I realized, some people like to post their anger on the Internet, especially in the Facebook. I was wondering, what is their purpose? Is it that they want their enemy to know what they are thinking? Everyone have their own perspective so for me that is ok because I do not deny that sometimes we will feel better after we blurt out everything in public. However, what I matter most is the wordings you are using when you simply post out your anger on the Facebook with rude words. For me that reflect what type of person you are. What is making me more heart-breaking is that when the people I knew is a Christian. It really give a very bad impression to others especially to the non-Christian.

What did the bible say about this? "When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise." (proverbs 10:19, NIV)

Just a short sharing of mine, do you wan to listen to a story? ;)

There are many times, when I was angry, I felt like I want to go in front of that particular person who made me angry and explode in front of him or she. Or, I will want to curse or just send a very rude message to that person! However, I will try my very best to cool down for a while and really try hard to hold my tongue so that I won't explode. I am not 100% successful all the time but seriously I tell you, I am trying my best, with the help of God and yes, I did improve a lot. My conflict will end up by a peaceful confrontation and this always lead to a happy ending. Many times, it was just a misunderstanding between friends! How precious is a friendship for me, and how wonderful it is for me to save a friendship from the misunderstandings.

Even when I am angry and want to blurt it out in the Facebook, I always write it in a good and polite way which others may think it was just another wall post from Evelyn. Hence, I can be more comfortable after writing out something whereby at the same time others might not notice that I was in anger. It was a happy ending!

Actually my idea of writing this is when I saw someone which I assumed she is highly educated in religion wrote some silly stuff on her Facebook. I am not here to critics others, but to learn from the lessons and have a reflection on myself. :)

Negative thought is bad :)

There is one infective disease that is contagious nowadays! In other words, it's a communicable disease.. I believe a "negative thought" will always come to us first, in most of the situation. Why do I say it is contagious? Because the negative thought of us may sometimes influence others to have a bad perception on another person. But then please dun answer this in the medical exam when the question ask you to list down the example of contagious disease. U will get big fat zero :)

Just a short sharing, recently, I have this problem, I had a very negative thought on a friend of mine. I was a little upset on how she treated me. I felt like she did not appreciate me. Then, what for I continued to do good to her? Then, why should I continued to treat her well? I started to become very moody to her, not too long. Only for a day and that is enough for me to feel that how bad am I and I shouldn't act in that way.



Fortunately, yesterday I have a chance to talk with one of my friend, Arina! She told me about this negative thought and positive thought of human. Always, in a any situation, the negative thought will come to us first. She said, she has this problem as well. She shared with me her story. Yes, I must resist this negative thought. After a long chat with her, I realized that positive thought shouldn't be 50% only. It should be 100%, directly come to us in whatever situation that we are facing, especially when it comes to our perception on others.
Arina said, instead of thinking that "the particular friend" do not care about you, why not think about her good? I answered her, "this is hard, and sometimes it is painful when u did something but people just ignore you." Arina replied, "the real love do not expect anything. Furthermore, we did it for God, we want the rewards from God, not on this earth." This is so true.. Lastly, Arina advised me, "cheerish the happy moment, leave the bad memory and continue to do what you are doing, continue to prepare her the dinner, continue to ask whether have she eaten..." :) Thanks Arina.. And she told me, this is how you practice to be stronger.

Things might be bitter to swallow, but I can if I want to. Trying my best to practice unconditional love. At least I know how Jesus felt when he was nailed on the cross. And yet, He said, "Father, forgive them for they do not know what are they doing." (Luke 23:34) Do I forgive others. Aren't God said, love your brother and sister?


On the day before I met Arina, I almost breakdown and bow down to anger. Luckily I successfully resist it and I didn't burst out. There is something that is not supposed to be handled by me but suddenly I have to settle all the remaining works. There is one time that I come to a point where I don't know what to do! Really stucked. Thanks God that Ammar and Fasihah come and help. At last, I was able to continue to join my group discussion, although at first I was like walking in and out of the room. Just that I lost my friend's pendrive :( There goes my money again, but it's ok. At first, I was a bit angry but thanks God, I cooled down and try to find a way to solve that problem. And throughout this incident, I learned how to bless the others in the midst of my stress. An achievement (^_^)v Praise the Lord, everything go on smoothly and today, I hope their trip to SMK Batu Laut is a successful one. I don't know the conflict in between, but I just do my job :) because I was committed to it already. But then after this the secretary job will be handled by Fasihah.


So you have read my sharing, few days ago I was really busy and emotional. A very supportive friend of mine, S texted me..."Evie, pls take care of ur feeling, we don't have time to lose to our mood anymore. Focus for our Pro Exam!" :) Thank you very much. Indeed, this message motivate me a lot. Pro Exam :)

Learning from everyday experience! :)

Yesterday, something did happened. A day before my Public Health final exam. Someone told me something which I already known but then I back up that group of people. I really tried my best to defense them but then when two of my friends gave me lots of evidence, and they were like, "Evie,...wake up please.."

And only then, I realize... the feeling of been betrayed. However, I was happy, at least I knew the truth now. To him who initiate all this things, I will still respect you, but sorry, you who once inspire me, no longer inspire me ANYMORE! I am sorry. I had lose my heart against u guys..

All this experience help me to open my eyes and see the darkness in this world. Perhaps I will assume this is my learning process. I was not the only one who are affected, in fact I received the news calm and steady. Because in my heart, I keep reciting the words of God. (This is the importance of reading bible everyday XD)

I will start to write down all my bitter sweet experience somewhere, so that one day if I get the chance to talk to the people, I will use my own experience to share the testimony.

I like this, got from Alia's drawing, which sound like this, "Stop talking about Islam, show us or shut up!"

For me this is nice, I would like to change it this way: "Stop talking about Christianity, show us or shut up".
This remind me that not to boast or talk too much about Christianity, it's all about how I live out Christ-likeness in my daily life. A live testimony!!

Pause and reflect...

Life had been good recently. Of course, as usual, many things happened and I was grateful that I was be able to go through it all, just that I need a little bit calmness. I was amazed by Hasvini and Alia 's calmness when they meet some harsh situations :) I need to improve in that.

Wow! To my surprise, last week, Mira made me a sandwich for my breakfast. Thank you very much. Although the food had been digested for days ago, but then, I still remember that she did me the breakfast. ^^ Happy~

Academically, results are improving, but I was spiritually empty now. I do not know why?!! Just feel like my relationship with God is becoming further and further. I admit that nowadays, I joined more activities. Zedah is asking me to rest and slow down my pace. If you ask me now, did you read bible? I was ashamed to answer you. I need a change now...

Many people may not know what I am doing, but then I am clear with what I want and what I can contribute to my religion in future. Yes, tomorrow the CCF is organizing an activity, treasure hunt. The objective is to enhance the relationship among the brotherhood and sisterhood. Lilian asked me, what talk are you going to tomorrow? Erm... deep in my heart I do like to join the treasure hunt since my spiritual support is in detrimental situation but I choose to go to the TEDxYouth @KL talks. In my mind, there is always something else. Seriously, I will not do something without a purpose or just for fun. For example like, event management, learning from Waqiyuddin, 5th year MBBS senior. It would be really great if we can implement that event management at the local church in my hometown. It would save many time and works will become more organize and efficient. I wish one day I could change the SYSTEM... maybe not to the best, at least better than previous one.. Hope what I do did find the favour in God..

Learn from mistake, which is to hold my tongue :)

Today is as usual... those like that is still like that, those who try to ignore me is still ignoring me. Sometimes I will ask, what is the meaning of friend if you act in that way?? Whatever it is, I had learn my lesson today. Those who can hold his or her tongue is the best. Be patience, surely I can go through all this craps. Coz nothing is meaningful except storing our gold in heaven. I shall stand firm by His grace, a little obstacles make me grow more mature, a little sadness or disappointment teach me not to rely on this worldly things. And I am so thankful to God for his gift to me, Alia. I did shared many things to her, about the views, people's attitude and many more ... a very wide scope. But then I seldom shared my problems with her, because this act may be similar to "talking bad things" about other people. Even if I shared, I didn't mention the name and she wouldn't guess who am I talking about. In fact she will always be there, comforting and motivating. I feel easy with her. Seriously, no doubts and worries at all. And now I am trying to be like her, not her choleric leadership, but her calmness in controlling herself includes emotions in the midst of "many works". =) All the best evelyn :) All critics on me is most welcome because that is what I need =D I enjoyed that. Zedah just gave me one, "Evie, pls can you dun pls everyone?" Thank you Zedah! And thanks Aqi for listening today!!

My reflection 1: Balance in my life, what is worship?

Balance :)

I should have the enthusiasm in medicine, as how I was so enthusiast in learning God's words. After this, not only seek for pastor, instead doctor as well. After all, I learn medicine to achieve my dream. Hope what I dream for do find favor in Him.   :D

Now I was having one week holidays in Sibu, and last night I decided to do something this time. I am going to have five days reflection on myself :)

1.11.2010: Today basically I would like to reflect on myself in the aspect of my intellectual and spiritual life. Always, if I came across some confusion in my Christian understanding, I will immediately e-mail or message a pastor to ask for that. If not, I will feel so uneasy. I have the enthusiasm to know more on my own religion.

But then, in Cyberjaya, I always do something unnecessary at the wrong timing, especially when the exam is getting nearer. Instead of studying the medical textbook which I spent a lot of money to buy them, I will read the systemic theology book. It was because when the exam is getting nearer, I started to become nervous and stumble and the only way to run away from all those shaking feelings is to read the religion books. Aren't my study is important as well? Life is also a worship!

Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. (Rom 12:1)

 
What is worship? Yes, worship is when you sing hymns in the church. Not only that, the direct translation from the Greeks actually means "serve", "service", "minister" or in other words "service and sacrifice" directed towards God. Therefore, worship is actually when we serve God, which means that the attitude and our testimonies are a part of worship. In short, worship is obeying the God's words, libe for Him. Just like Jesus, not only worship and glorify God's name in church, instead when he was crucified. Hence, we can worship God everyday; for God's sake, we STUDY HARD, for God's sake, we HELP our friends in need, for God's sake, we spend our money wisely, for God's sake, we must be honest in everything and so on!

Reflection:
1. I must have the enthusiasm to learn medicine like how I was so enthusiast in learning the God's words. I must realize that, I should have done well and try my best in my exam to glorify God's name, not for myself. If I do not score well in the exam, means that I do not have the knowledge! Then, how can I help the sick? People around me always tempted me with the saying, "we learn for the knowledge, not for the exam." Of course I don't care how much grade do I get but what I matter most is when I do not have the knowledge. Sincerely, I was really really really feel sad and want to give up whenever I can't answer the questions especially the SAQ in the final exam because at that moment, I realized that I don't have the knowledge for that particular "cases/problem-solving questions". So, after this, whenever I came across some mystery medical cases or if I was unsured on anything related to the medicine, I must try my best to seek help from others, more preferably from doctors as now we do have something called Internet, communication without boundaries. Yeah, medicine is fun and just to remind myself, please be more serious with what I am learning!
碧志告诉我，我们基督徒要“量恩而做”~。。。不是靠自己，而是靠主恩。。。

What is worship? Translation in chinese: (source, from Rev. Paul Ting)
敬拜到底是什么？敬拜是在教会里唱诗赞美上帝，但不只是如此。敬拜原文的字根跟服事是一样的。所以，敬拜也有服事的意思，也就是说行为，见证和服事也是敬 拜的一部分。就连将来在天上敬拜时，除了唱诗赞美，还有服事！简单来说，敬拜就是遵行上帝的旨意，为祂而活。就好像耶稣那样，祂敬拜和荣耀上帝的地方不只 是会堂，也在任何地方，甚至在十字架上。因此，我们每一天所作所为都是在敬拜，只要我们是为上帝而作。为上帝把书读好是敬拜；为上帝帮助一个朋友是敬拜； 为上帝好好花钱是敬拜；为上帝而诚实是敬拜等等！