My friends... A & A

erm... last night dreamt about 2 my close friends. Hope my dream will never come true. In my dream, both if them did not talk at all, I really hope their misunderstanding will get over soon. It's their problem actually! Nothing to do with me...so why do I so busy body? Erm..maybe because I love both of them.. But in order to say sorry and to forgive, it depends to themselves actually, I can't do much and I will not go and ask about their problem anymore, but sincerely, I hope as times go by, they will be ok and become good friends again. One of them did not change the profile picture, which both of them took together, means that she still have her in her heart although she refused to accept the apologize. I guess just a lil bit of egoistic there. Maybe just give her some times? Evelyn, stop bothering about others problems, they will not like it if you "masuk campur" ok!! =(

And what comes into my mind:
Random thought: How much does a friend cost huh? 2 cents? 2 millions? A misunderstanding? An apologize? A forgiveness? 2 days silence or a forever silence???

真心的笑。。。您在哪?

我已经很久没有真心的笑了，我忘了我最后一次真心的笑时是几时？？？

A gift for a friend, or a heart to worship?

This morning I was late for the church service. Dr. Lee and Lilian they all departed to the church first. Then, my friend agreed to bring me there but my friend will only arrive here in 8.20a.m. The Sunday service started at 8.00a.m. For me, the purpose for me to go to the church is not only to listen to the sermon but I wanted to praise and worship the greatness of God as well. Actually I was damn tired already because I have been really busy with the orientation for the past few days. The purpose I wanted to went to the church with Dr. Lee they all because I wanted to get a birthday gift for a friend of mine. However, after a long thought, I decided not to go because I will definitely missed the praise and worship time which I don't like.

Unfortunately, the van which suppossed to come and fetch us lost somewhere and we reached the church almost half an hour late. During the journey, I was thinking, after all, things went on the same if I went to the Sunday service at first session, for both, I will be late. However, there is something different: I determined to go to the first session although I will be late because I wanted to go to Jusco to get a gift for my friend, which at last I chose not to because my purpose is been out of the path, whereby in doing that, I am actually priortizing my friend, rather than God. However, really thanks God that I was going for the second session's Sunday service, though I was late, but the heart to worship God is there. I am preparing my heart to the church.

I realized one thing, which is that "what God value most is what is in our heart", not by our action, maybe some people might think that going to church is necessary but many failed to realize that our sincerity is even more important. :)

It's all my fault..

yea..it's all my fault. Yesterday, I felt so sorry for not volunteering to present the SCTL. Dr. Ibrahim juz walked out like that. I was sad that we had made him upset... AGAIN.. I intended to present question no. 13 and question no. 14. But then, he walked out dy.. I was not happy. Today, Dr. Khin need an answer from us, so I just answered sincerely. Yes, what Dr. Khin scolded was right! If I only focus on que no.13 and que no.14, which were my part, I will never progress. I memorized what she sad. The words kept swimming in my mind the whole day. I memorized and didn't want the words to get out of my mind because I do not want to repeat the same mistake. I mean it..I know this is what I said when I made Dr. Mustafa upset by not volunteering also. And I never change!! So, this time, I gonna remember what Dr. Khin said this morning and I will work harder because I need to "progress". I will remember this until I become a doctor in future, by God's will. I am d one to be blamed because I, myself did not do the SCTL preparation. That's my fault.. No more next time, pls... Evelyn! =(

2nd week and 3rd week of musculoskeletal system

I was very very tired? But still hope to write something here.. Last week, because of some worries, I really did badly in my 2nd weekly assessment. My marks was like going down around 20 marks. So sad. So, this week, I will still consider it stormy week, but I had decided earlier that whatever it comes, I will focus in my studies. I need to get some satisfying results for my parents and grandparents esp. my grandma to make them happy, although my mum always told me that as long as I passed, she will be happy already. I still remember on Thursday noght, she asked me not to tense myself by telling me a story about a dental student in S'gpore committed suicide recently. Haha, that will never happens in me.. =)

Why I described last 2 weeks as stormy days for me? Because, ya..for the first week I was really worried that I might have to stay in Putrajaya for my 2nd year in CUCMS. I was thinking about, how about my transport to church, my fellowship? my morning prayer meeting? So so many to be worried because I had forgotten that My Lord is al-mighty and He is greater than all those little problems!

The 2nd week of musculoskeletal system? Things started very good. I promised a friend of mine, Alia to go to their toastmaster meeting as a guest. But sadly, d moment I went into Farahain's car (which driven by Aqi), something unexpected things came up, which made me very very sad. Seeing my condition, Aqi decided that we will not go for the toastmaster meeting, instead to Hassan to have our dinner. Came back home, my feelings got even worse but I will not mention what happened actually at that night. I don't even want to remember it!!!!!! Really sad and shocked! How come things become like that? Isn't she is my best friend who I thought understand me very well? That night also, I immediately erase the terms "best friend" in my heart, in my dictionary as well. Only on the 2nd day, I thought of what did Alia feel because Aqi and I fail to keep our promise. Of course I dun know what is in her mind but one thing I do know is, "If I was her, I will be very disappointed" Haiz~ sorry.. I hope I will not repeat that next time =(

Keep going!!! Come on!

I was just about to give up! Because there are so many works to be done everyday. Just because I felt asleep at 10.30p.m. last night, I have to wake up at 5a.m. to do my homework. I reflected back...Is that what I want? Facing the book everyday, with so many nerves, muscles, bone, blood vessels and etc. I need to memorized every week?

I opened my facebook, saw a video. It is a short movie from the movie "Facing the Giant!" Basically inside there showed how the coach motivate and encourage a guy named Brooke for not to give up. In the process, the coach had shouted :-
17 times "Yes, this is the way!"
15 times "Come on / 加油!"
23 times "Dun give up!"
9 times "Try your best!"
48 times "keep going!"

Brooke said : It's pain
The coach replied : Dun give up, try ur best!
Brooke said : He is heavy
The coach replied : I know!
Brooke said : I have no more energy.
The coach replied : Search more enegy
Brooke said : It's pain
The coach said : Yes I know, keep going!
Brooke said : My hand is burning
The coach said : Let it burns!
Brooke said : It's too hard
The coach replied : It's not too hard, try ur best, come on!

Been so emotionless!!

I don't know where did all my feelings gone? A breast cancer patient who only has most probably 8 months left standing giving a speech in front of me. Some of my friends cried, but for me...it's just "owh, ok." So simple! I wonder why I acted this way. Did I feel pity for her? Did I feel sad for her? Oh beb! Undergo Chemo is damn pain ok! But, how come I feel so calm about that matter? I thought if she was my patient and I acted in that way, she could have already give a punch on my face...so emotionless... Btw, how to be emotion ya???

And yesterday after I came out from the exam hall, I got a message from Olivia that our friend, Lilian Hii had been admitted into the hospital. She is now isolated because she had been attacked by A influenza, confirmed H1N1. But then, what do I feel? Maybe a little bit sad because actually this week many things happened to me and I really looking forward for Saturday morning prayer meeting to share my stories with her and would like to seek some of her advice. Then, I don't know what to feel anymore? At the same time, I did SMS her asking a lot of silly questions also, and d most weird one sound like this, "how do u feel?" Why did I sent her that kind of message? Because I don't feel anything and hope that by knowing how she feel could let me develop my feelings towards the patient in future. Now, I was quite worry about my "emotionless!" Can feel quite a lost when she is not around in Cyber here, no Saturday morning prayer meeting means there is no sharing. Hm... People will never appreciate until they lost it :)