My reflection 1: Balance in my life, what is worship?

Balance :)

I should have the enthusiasm in medicine, as how I was so enthusiast in learning God's words. After this, not only seek for pastor, instead doctor as well. After all, I learn medicine to achieve my dream. Hope what I dream for do find favor in Him.   :D

Now I was having one week holidays in Sibu, and last night I decided to do something this time. I am going to have five days reflection on myself :)

1.11.2010: Today basically I would like to reflect on myself in the aspect of my intellectual and spiritual life. Always, if I came across some confusion in my Christian understanding, I will immediately e-mail or message a pastor to ask for that. If not, I will feel so uneasy. I have the enthusiasm to know more on my own religion.

But then, in Cyberjaya, I always do something unnecessary at the wrong timing, especially when the exam is getting nearer. Instead of studying the medical textbook which I spent a lot of money to buy them, I will read the systemic theology book. It was because when the exam is getting nearer, I started to become nervous and stumble and the only way to run away from all those shaking feelings is to read the religion books. Aren't my study is important as well? Life is also a worship!

Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. (Rom 12:1)

 
What is worship? Yes, worship is when you sing hymns in the church. Not only that, the direct translation from the Greeks actually means "serve", "service", "minister" or in other words "service and sacrifice" directed towards God. Therefore, worship is actually when we serve God, which means that the attitude and our testimonies are a part of worship. In short, worship is obeying the God's words, libe for Him. Just like Jesus, not only worship and glorify God's name in church, instead when he was crucified. Hence, we can worship God everyday; for God's sake, we STUDY HARD, for God's sake, we HELP our friends in need, for God's sake, we spend our money wisely, for God's sake, we must be honest in everything and so on!

Reflection:
1. I must have the enthusiasm to learn medicine like how I was so enthusiast in learning the God's words. I must realize that, I should have done well and try my best in my exam to glorify God's name, not for myself. If I do not score well in the exam, means that I do not have the knowledge! Then, how can I help the sick? People around me always tempted me with the saying, "we learn for the knowledge, not for the exam." Of course I don't care how much grade do I get but what I matter most is when I do not have the knowledge. Sincerely, I was really really really feel sad and want to give up whenever I can't answer the questions especially the SAQ in the final exam because at that moment, I realized that I don't have the knowledge for that particular "cases/problem-solving questions". So, after this, whenever I came across some mystery medical cases or if I was unsured on anything related to the medicine, I must try my best to seek help from others, more preferably from doctors as now we do have something called Internet, communication without boundaries. Yeah, medicine is fun and just to remind myself, please be more serious with what I am learning!
碧志告诉我，我们基督徒要“量恩而做”~。。。不是靠自己，而是靠主恩。。。

What is worship? Translation in chinese: (source, from Rev. Paul Ting)
敬拜到底是什么？敬拜是在教会里唱诗赞美上帝，但不只是如此。敬拜原文的字根跟服事是一样的。所以，敬拜也有服事的意思，也就是说行为，见证和服事也是敬 拜的一部分。就连将来在天上敬拜时，除了唱诗赞美，还有服事！简单来说，敬拜就是遵行上帝的旨意，为祂而活。就好像耶稣那样，祂敬拜和荣耀上帝的地方不只 是会堂，也在任何地方，甚至在十字架上。因此，我们每一天所作所为都是在敬拜，只要我们是为上帝而作。为上帝把书读好是敬拜；为上帝帮助一个朋友是敬拜； 为上帝好好花钱是敬拜；为上帝而诚实是敬拜等等！

sad? No, I am not.. but y?

A friend of my friend passed away. I knew it when I read my friend's blog. At first I felt nothing, just thanks God that she is already a Christian. But then, the news and invitations to her funeral ceremony is all over the facebook. Only now I realized, I do not feel sad for her? Do I really have feelings? Do I really care about others ?  Current mood *S.A.D* sad because I felt nothing about that person.. 2nite, I was a little bit stress... dunno why :( It is scary when people do not feel sympathy, how to become a doctor if your heart is as hard as a stone?

Joseph actually waited for many years!

Today is my first time to attend the chinese Sunday service in CDPC. The sermon is awesome. Before this, what I know about the story of Joseph is that he is wise and God gave him the ability to translate dreams. When he was 17, he dreamed that his siblings and brothers will bow to him one day, and that is more than 14 years later, his dream come true. What can we learn from this? Although everything that happened to him seems like driving him far away from his dream, whereby he was sold by his brother Egypt, put into the prison, the cupbearer forgot him and he had to stay in the prison for another 2 years but please take note, God stay with him ALL THE TIME and never forsake him. Until the day he solved the Pharoah's dream and given a high position to rule Egypt, and his brothers came and bow down to him, because the famine is all over the region and they came to buy the food. At last, the dream came true! And, it is after so many years!

Reflection: Be patience! Follow the God's timing, and in between, obey His words =) In the church just now, suddenly something came across my mind. I was thinking that in the journey of my life (I am 20 now), I met her, a very awesome friend of mine. God, how come?? Stop asking why and get ur works (SCTL, thesis) done now.. Haha :D Thanks God for everything..

Kenya, Africa =)

This post was written, specially for my dear friend, :) Zhong Xi(nurse-to-be in future)!

When I was around 14, maybe, I watch a HongKong drama entitled "天涯侠医" (The Last Breakthrough). It was about some doctors and nurses who went to Kenya and helped the people that. For me, it was a very meaningful drama. It stimulates me to want to become a doctor when I grew up. I felt like they are so awesome and brave, going far away to reach the unreached people. Although it is just a movie, nowadays, there are actually people who walk into that journey, going far away for the purpose to spread the gospel. They are missionaries.

Once upon a time, I wish to become a good doctor and go to Kenya and helped the people there and bla bla bla.. But then... My friend, Zhong Xi sensed something here. She asked me, why "but then"? She also asked, "so now wats your priority feelings??"

I know, Christians shouldn't go by feelings, But right now I do not feel like I am going to be so noble to..."become a good doctor and go to Kenya and helped the people there and bla bla bla..". I am afraid I might stop at the phase - becoming a doctor and that's it. Even can I finish this course also I am not sure. Coz things getting more and more difficult in 2nd year.

Secondly, now I thought of going somewhere else, perhaps Israel? Haha.. I am not sure yet. I am so afraid that I will dream big and want to do a lots of things, but when I really have a job later on, I might be wanting a comfortable life and all the worldly things. Reminder for myself,"Do not worry for tomorrow!" God will guide and lead. So, just pray that my "burning flame" to help others will not become dim and blow out at last.

Just want to let u know, Zhong Xi, I am really really glad to meet a friend like you, who has the same vision as me. I guess deep inside ur heart, or I will say that deep inside everyone of urs, who read this short sharing, u guys have a heart to help others so desperately, the passion to care. Just hold on, keep reminding ourself with what Mother Theressa said, "For the hunger of love is worst than the hunger of bread."

So dear friends, it is good for us to have a vision - dream as big as you can (to change the world), but take a small step at a time. E.g.: If u dream to see the peace in the world, first make sure there is peace in ur environment. If you dream to reach the unreached people, first make sure you learn how to care first people around you, coz u can't help the people in need if u don't know what is love! For our case now, there's still a long journey. ask the strength from God, for we are weak but God is strong. Seek the help from Him the Al-Mighty, keep praying that we may not walk out of the path that He plan for US =)

And then, when u reach the land, there, ur mission starts... That's all, what I said may be not 100% correct, forgive me if I am wrong..

In facebook:
Zhong Xi said :"let's go together"
Lily said :"as a missionary"

Glad to see that. yeah..! "let's go together" "as a missionary"!! one day.. Zhong Xi, see u there ya! deal..

With luv,
Evelyn :)

One minute pause, and u will be fine =)

Not feeling well =( Why? I do not know.

"I'm learning to manage life's test and challenges with ease and calm, with humility and humbleness so it can make me into a better person. I need it. I'm ok. Just a small test:-)" -anonymous

I am not so sure about the life's test but I know life is full of challenges. What Evelyn has to learn is to face the challenge with EASE and CALM, this is not easy for me, in fact I guess for everyone of us. Because we tend to burst like an atomic bomb easily. Yknow! While writing this, I just realized, it is so easy for us to get angry. Others can just trigger one of our nerve (means do something that WE don't like or irritate US) and we will get angry immediately. However, everytime during the interval before we start to get angry, take a "one minute pause". Within that "one minute pause", immediately think of this:-

1. It's unintentionally, without he or she knowing that it actually irritates u.
2. Emmanuel and all is well.

Then, believe me, everything will be fine. Surpress the unhappiness matters into your unconscious mind =) But, if he or she really makes u angry.. enter my third point:-

3. Learn to forgive and forget. Look at the stars high up in the sky, the wonderful creation of God shows how much he love and care about U. So, don't remember others wrong doing. And everything will be wonderful!

So, that's how YOU use ur "one minute pause" and hopefully, your anger will go away.

That's all... So, Evie.. Emmanuel and all is well..

Tomorrow pathology class, again will be awesome if I prepared well before I enter the class. Do not give up! ^^
Yeah, that's right! Now I am ok already.. :-)

OLD is GOLD

210910 ... Finally, I met Azri and Amir!! (^^)V

I was touched for what my friends had done. They are a very good friend of mine. Amir will be flied off to Cardiff to further his studies in Engineering in Computer on 23rd Sept 2010. 2 days before he took off, he came to visit me in Cyberjaya. Actually he came to Cyberjaya to pick up a friend of mine, Firdaus. They wanted to go to the airport to send off one of my friend, Achik. I can’t join them because I have sunathon training in college that night. So after he picked up my friend from MMU, he came to CUCMS and we had a dinner together. We chit-chatted for almost one and a half hour. It is fun to meet back again my secondary school friends after 3 years. After SPM, I haven’t had an opportunity to see my friend because all of them were in Penang and whenever I have holidays, I will go back to my hometown, Sibu, Sarawak. So we never had a chance to meet.

After they sent my friend in KLIA, they came back to Cyberjaya, as they need to put back P-dut in MMUn(^_^") To my surprise, P-dut sent me a msg, asking me to wait in front of my college. They wanted to bring me out for supper. I asked them to pick me up from my house, I need to go back and refresh myself, after whole day I was in my college..(8am - 10pm..fainting!). Since I know after this we could hardly meet each other again, I followed them to have supper at al-Aqsa near the Petronas there. It was really nice and fun to meet back my old friends, exchanging our life experiences after SPM with each other. And, not to forget, updating myself with the gossips among my members..

Soksekians'0307, I really missed u guys so so much. Hope all of u r doing well!!!!!!!!!!!

Kinder Bueno's love story (friendship story)

"Yes, it's my 1st Kinder Bueno although I always saw this chocolate near the counter of any supermarket. One of my friend love this chocolate very much but I never try to taste it. This was because I never like to try new things! Hehe...

A friend of mine gave me a bar of Kinder Bueno last Wednesday. Actually, the night before, I was thinking to stop caring about others because I started to feel tired. However, I was shocked to receive the chocolate and a small note from Alina. She thanked me for what I have done for her! Actually that's only a very small matter and I guess others will do it as well if they were in my place. However, I really appreciate it and I sticked the small note in my planner, because I don't want to stop caring others.

Sometimes, I may be too attached, and I think that makes me think a lot, even when it is a very small matter or the matter do not have any business to do to me. When I think a lot, I worried a lot and I guess maybe some people will feel inconvenient when I asked too many questions. I kept reminding myself with this, taken from the book of Romans:-

Love, for the Day is Near
Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet," and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself." Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. (13: 8-10)"

author: la vie.

Reflection: I always felt like I need to care and love my friends, because God has love us in the first place. That is what I hold on all the while. However, I guess maybe some of my friends had started to feel annoyed? Ok then.. I will try to stop if I realized u started to get annoyed with me. Anyhting after this, I will refer back to the verse taken from the book of Romans, as stated in the story above.Thank you Lord =) So no more tiring ya!! Go go chaiyok!!

Now, I had felt in love with Kindo Bueno =) I tried that and it was so yummy!!